Navigating Life’s Transitions

“The only constant is change”

— Popularly attributed to the Greek philosopher Heraclitus based on his idea that “You cannot step twice into the same stream.” 

Whether we welcome it or not—planned or unplanned—change is always happening, both within us and around us. Transitions, even the “good” ones like graduating or retiring, can be stressful. We might even assume that because we feel anxious, it must mean that something is wrong. We might tell ourselves, “If I feel nervous, maybe this is the wrong decision? Maybe I’m not ready? Maybe I’ll fail—because why else would I be feeling this way?” Stress is the body’s way of dealing with change, any change. It doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong; it just means you’re human.

Transitions that are unexpected, unwanted or come with a sense of grief or loss—like a breakup or a health diagnosis—can leave us feeling powerless and uncertain, exacerbating feelings of distress. But while we may not have control over what’s changing, as much as we wish we did, we do have control over how we respond.

Here are 4 tips for navigating through life’s transitions:

1. Acceptance

• Acknowledge that a change is happening. Denying or ignoring it won’t stop it—it only delays your ability to deal with it and wastes energy. 

• Acceptance doesn’t mean liking the change. It means acknowledging what is without trying to push it away. 

• The same goes for emotions. You may feel sadness, excitement, fear, guilt or even all of them at once. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, without judging, dismissing or invalidating your experience.

• Acceptance is the first step, and also the hardest. We often need to practice acceptance, not just once, but over and over again.

2. Cope Ahead

• Self-care is often the first thing that gets dropped when we feel stressed. Make a gameplan for how you will fill your tank and keep it full leading up to, during and after the transition, such as getting enough sleep, seeing friends, deep breathing or taking a walk. This will help you stay regulated and respond to obstacles more effectively.

• Reflect on your strengths, skills and past experiences. You’ve done hard things before—what helped you then? Imagine yourself coping effectively and mentally rehearse this.

• Maintaining routines and structure can help create stability in uncertain times. Try to keep your schedule as consistent as possible and break down big tasks into smaller ones to decrease your brain’s cognitive load.

3. Be Intentional

• Our minds love to fixate on the past or the future, but it takes us away from the present, which is the only thing we have some influence over. Notice when this happens and gently bring your attention back to the here and now. Similar to acceptance, you will probably need to do this repeatedly.

• Imagine your future self looking back at this time. What would you want that version of you to say/feel about how you handled this transition?

• Try writing a letter to this phase of your life—what it’s meant to you, what you’re leaving behind, what you’re moving towards. Or write to your future self, offering encouragement and support. 

• Some find comfort in transitional objects—a symbolic item to carry through the change as a reminder of strength, connection or grounding. For example, a rock from your favorite walking path if you are moving away.

4. Seek Support and Connection

• You don’t have to navigate these transitions alone. Talk to a friend, family member, spiritual leader or mentor. Share your worries, your hopes and your questions. Your vulnerability can even strengthen your relationships.

• Join a group where others are going through something similar. You are not the first person to experience this and you won’t be the last. Hearing from those who are at different stages in their journey can bring comfort, hope or even be an opportunity for you to mentor someone else

• Talking to a therapist can help you gain clarity on what you’re feeling, what your options are and finding a way forward that aligns with your values.

Transitions are hard. But with acceptance, preparation, intentionality and support, you can move through them in a way that aligns with who you want to be. 

You’ve done it before. You can do it again.

This month Looking Glass Counseling is proud to support the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) of Massachusetts. For nearly 100 years, the American Civil Liberties Union has worked every day in the courts, in the legislature, and in communities to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed by the Constitution, Bill of Rights, and laws of the United States.

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Sakura Matsuno holds a Bachelors in Psychology and is currently working towards her Masters of Social Work degree from Boston College. She has experience working in inpatient, residential and community settings with individuals struggling with anxiety, depression and OCD. Sakura has also interned at a skilled nursing facility, serving individuals with dementia and their families.

Sakura believes in a collaborative, client-centered approach in order to meet each individual's unique needs because everyone's journey in life, and in therapy, is unique to them. She aims to create a space where a person's story can be witnessed with compassion and dignity by honoring their personal experience and inherent wisdom.

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